Infidelity is defined as the breakdown of the trust of the couple, when secrets are kept away from the intimacy of the couple, that is, we are unfaithful to our partner when we consciously lie to him and knowing that our behavior is not correct.
Also by infidelity we refer to any situation in which a person with a stable relationship is involved in intense contact with someone who is not their usual partner. In this contact, sexual relations may or may not occur, which allows us to distinguish between a form of infidelity focused on the sexual relationship and another in which this is only a secondary aspect of the affective bond. In the first case, sexual dissatisfaction in the couple is the engine for the establishment of new relationships, while in the second, it is a more global and complex dissatisfaction that drives them to transgress the fidelity pacts.
It is necessary to define as a couple which practices are considered infidelity and which are not, through explicit or implicit norms accepted in this regard. The problem is that many times, these normal are not clear and there can be many misunderstandings.
It is very difficult to define what behaviors suppose an infidelity, since the admissible limits are established implicitly, within each couple, according to the ideas of each member, their previous experiences, the customs of the family of origin and the social context in which one lives (it is normal that what one couple considers infidelity, in another it is not and vice versa).
Similarly, men and women develop different ideas about infidelity: while many women tend to associate any intimacy (whether sexual or not) with infidelity, men are more likely to deny it, unless there has been sexual intercourse. The improvement of the communication media has caused that infidelity is more accessible and easier today, a telephone or a computer is enough to establish strong emotional relationships or sexual content with someone outside the relationship, without it being necessary to invest a excessive time, which makes the partner suspicious.
According to some studies, women consider (in a higher percentage) emotional acts as infidelity, while men are more reluctant to consider an emotional relationship as cheating.
Another study obtained the same conclusion, while it concluded that 65% of women considered an emotional connection of the couple with another person as a deception, compared to 46% of men with this perception.
For their part, men consider having a night of sex with a stranger as a greater betrayal than the fact that their partner is in love with another person (as long as nothing has happened between them). On the other hand, women have these conceptions more even, tending to consider them as infidelity.
New technologies must be added to this variability of definition, an element that further increases the ambiguity of the concept and makes it more difficult for the couple to overcome the conflict.
New technologies are accelerating the appearance of practices that it is not known how to classify (hitherto unknown) such as: is it considered infidelity to have an encounter of a sexual nature via webcam? Massive consumption of pornography? Flirting with another person by chat ?, etc.
Although the internet does not increase the inclination that leads us to be unfaithful, it is true that it facilitates its practice. In recent years, applications that explicitly offer services for having sex (extramarital) have proliferated and are being successful.
Experts estimate that 50% of established couples (marriages) go through instances of infidelity and affairs with third parties. The good news is that this is absolutely preventable in most marriages, if you know the reasons why a person becomes unfaithful.
There are differences between studies, but most agree that between 40 and 50% of adults have been unfaithful at some time in their life. The figure varies by country.
Couple conflicts appear when the couple does not know or does not take care of solving the demands of the other. Couples generally turn to a single "solution" (infidelity) for their unmet needs. No matter the ethics, religion or education, when there is a strong demand or inner need, this leads to bend the will and to embark on infidelity.
All couples go through the same process: they are irresistible when they are in love, but they become incompatible when they stop caring for their partner's needs. There a third party appears willing to satisfy those unheard demands and the extramarital affair arises. The lover is that irresistible woman or man that he seems to need so much.
Despite what you might think, infidelity today is the same in men and women. In the past, more men were primarily cheating on women, but today, the percentage of women who cheat is increasing over the years. For example, in the United States, female infidelity has grown 40% in the last 20 years, getting closer and closer to the figures for adultery in men.
The reasons why we cheat on our partner remain the same as ever. However, men and women do not have the same parameters when cheating occurs in the couple. There are differences according to sex, since men and women have different motives and needs, although there are also needs shared by both sexes.
Next, we will see what the reasons are for being unfaithful in both sexes and later, a distinction will be made of the reasons or reasons for being unfaithful, according to each sex.
Reasons for being unfaithful in both sexes
Both sexes have the same reasons for starting and maintaining a relationship of these characteristics. Unfaithful men and women speak of the experience of a painful, monotonous and empty relationship and a lack of positive response to their sexual and emotional demands.
These statements show that infidelity in many cases indicates the need for "something more" or "something different" in their interaction and in their life as a couple that prompts them to seek what they feel, that they lack, on many occasions.
1. Closeness to a person of the opposite sex
A situation that can trigger infidelity, whether in the case of men or women, is being close to a person of the opposite sex. In this sense, it is very important to avoid friendly relationships that could potentially be harmful to the couple.
Love requires certain sacrifices and sometimes it is necessary to sacrifice a too close friendship with the opposite sex, if that person could become a "third party in contention" within the relationship. The same is true if a friend does not get along with our partner: we have to choose to preserve our partner above all else.
In the framework of a friendship, both people share their concerns or problems and generally see each other with some frequency, for example, because of a work relationship. Because they spend a lot of time together, the friendship solidifies; people encourage and support each other, especially when it comes to their unmet demands. A great many people have experienced periods of great frustration and disappointment in their lives. When they find another person who stimulates them, listens to them and shares their burdens, they feel a great attraction and one day, they are both in bed, without knowing how it happened.
Often times, a friendship that turns into a love affair is not based on physical attraction. Perhaps the lover is much less attractive than the person's partner, but how could it all happen then?
The answer is simple, attraction is an emotional issue. The other becomes attractive because it has managed to solve an unsatisfied demand. Suddenly, he is the one who is most aware of his needs and thus it feels to develop the same desire to take care of him. Lovers already share that irrepressible desire to supply the other's demands; the love between the two grows and sex becomes passionate. Suddenly, the relationship with the lover is one of the most fulfilling and intimate ever.
However, one day you wake up and you are trapped in a web from which you do not know how to escape. You generate an addiction to your lover, but your relationship is not realistic. It is not that your lover has no defects, nor is he the best partner in bed, what really makes you burn with passion is fantasy, the unreal relationship in which you both live. You stop worrying about your problems and feeling your usual frustrations while secretly planning the next meeting. The longer it goes on, the more difficult it will be to end this relationship.
We are all susceptible to falling into this network, if we do not feel that our demands are met by our partner. The dissolution of the marriage is not produced by an incompatibility, but by the inability to meet the demands of the couple.
2. Our partner does not give us enough
It is a common reason to be unfaithful. The person finds that her partner does not give her enough love, time and attention that she considers appropriate and that children, work or in-laws do receive. Many times these people are not aware of their emotional needs, they do not talk about it with their partner and they end up being unhappy.
3. We believe that love has disappeared
The unfaithful person mistakenly perceives that love has ended in the relationship, because the sexual and romantic intensity typical of the first steps in a relationship no longer exists. The reality is that healthy couples, as time goes on, love transforms into greater commitment, intimacy and trust.
4. Presence of an existential void
If the relationship is unsatisfactory, the most normal thing is that sooner or later, one of its members ends up being unfaithful and sex and romance are used to fill an emotional void.
5. Not facing the couple to face the separation
Before facing reality and telling the couple that the relationship has ended, a substitute is sought to be able to replace the couple, as soon as the decision has been made. Many times this is done unconsciously, but it is done.
6. Due to insecurity
The unfaithful person feels inferior in terms of their partner: older, uglier, with less money, etc. Infidelity serves to reaffirm your value in the love market, raise self-esteem by considering yourself desirable. The problem is that infidelities caused by this reason are not usually thought about and regret is just around the corner.
7. For revenge
Some people cheat only in revenge for behavior by their partner that they consider unfair. Perhaps because you suspect the other party's infidelity, you prefer to be unfaithful before communicating something.
8. For an unresolved trauma
According to numerous studies, people who have suffered some type of trauma in childhood, such as emotional abandonment, physical abuse or sexual abuse, are more likely to be unfaithful. Likewise, it is possible to become unfaithful if the parents have been seen to be unfaithful in the family environment.
9. By irrational expectations of what the couple should offer
These people expect their partners to grant them everything they ask for and fulfill all their needs. When they fail, they inevitably feel that the infidelity is justified. In these cases, education also plays an essential role (spoiled children are more likely to be unfaithful, as they have not learned to overcome their desires).
10. By the expectation of "not being caught"
They are based on the premise of "eyes that do not see, heart that does not feel", which is linked to any of the other reasons. Thinking that as long as we are not caught, we are not hurting anyone. The problem is that sooner or later, they end up catching you.
11. By natural impulse
One of those reasons for infidelity is our natural drive for sex. The human being has "a contradictory programming", because on the one hand he wants a stable partner to have a family, but on the other, he wants to satisfy all his sexual desires, which often include more than one subject. The reasons for being unfaithful stem from our varied impulses and needs.
Reasons why men are unfaithful
There are men who seem to have cheating in their genetic code and simply do not know how to be or maintain a healthy relationship with a stable partner, but there are also many cases of men who say they love and be happy with their partners and in a moment of weakness they lose everything and destroy the love and trust of their partner.
The man tends to experience less remorse than the woman to be unfaithful, which is due to the inheritance of a marching culture in which, masculinity used to be measured depending on the number of women who had been conquered. Men also tend to act more impulsively and thoughtlessly, while women tend to think more about the consequences of their actions, before committing infidelity.
Among the most common reasons for male infidelity are the following:
1. Out of boredom
Men get bored of doing the same with the same woman and that is why, as much as he loves her, it is difficult for him to overcome his desire for excitement and novelty. That is why men who seem sincere and faithful, at some point make a slip that ruins their relationship forever. That desire for novelty that men have can never be modified.
One of the main reasons that many men lead to infidelity is that you feel that your partner is not interesting in bed and does not do things that other women are willing to do with him. This does not mean that your partner has to do kinky stunts or games, but rather it refers to keeping him interested, funny, surprised, excited and crazy about his partner, because it is one thing to attract and fall in love with a man and quite another to keep him. Faithfully by your side for life, in the case of marriage.
2. Due to the lack of sex on the part of the couple
When a man chooses a woman to marry, he agrees to be with her for life because he assumes that she will always be there to satisfy his sexual demands, just as she assumes that he will respond to her needs for affection. The man agrees to have only one woman because he thinks that she is sexually interested in him, as much as he is in her. But suddenly he discovers that trusting that woman so much has been a mistake, since she refuses to give him what he needs so much (sex) and that is when the moment comes when they look elsewhere for what they do not have in the house.
Unfaithful men often justify themselves, blaming their partner: she is not able to respond to their sexual needs. Sometimes when the woman encounters infidelity, she tries to reverse the situation by showing herself more willing for bed, but in general, things have already gone too far and she is already deeply entangled in a parallel relationship.
Many women view sex with their partner as a "bad" experience, because they do not understand their own sexuality well enough to help their partners adjust to them sexually. It is important to clarify that both members of the couple must strive to be compatible in bed, because the female "sacrifice" of giving sex to the man is not enough for him to remain satisfied and not protest.
As long as the woman is not sexually satisfied, her partner will not be either. If she does not truly join him in bed, the man will always be left with "no pleasure." In order to achieve a fulfilling and rewarding experience for both of you, the partners must dialogue (to understand their own sexuality and that of the other).
It can also happen that in the relationship, the woman has a very low libido, while their sexual desire is triggered.
3. For the loss of physical attractiveness of the woman
Having an attractive partner is one of the greatest emotional needs of men. Women are outraged at this truth, thinking that they should be more altruistic and consider virtues such as education, sympathy or kindness before physical beauty.
This does not mean that women must respond to a certain ideal of beauty, because it is not so, because in reality the beauty depends on who looks at it. But in itself it is very important that the woman, after getting married, continues to be the one her partner chose for marriage. You should try to be as similar as possible to the woman your partner married. It is true that time passes for everyone, but the fact of aging should not be an excuse to neglect yourself.
Men whose needs are to be with a physically attractive woman, feel satisfied when they see that she looks good; if the opposite happens, they feel frustrated because one of their main needs is not being taken care of. Most men need to have an attractive partner on the outside, regardless of the qualities on the inside. Male audiences value the way they see themselves.
Perhaps many women still believe that this is something superficial, but let's look at it this way: if looking good for the couple is one of their basic needs, the woman loves him and wants to satisfy his needs to make him happy, why not try it and please him. the couple with their physical appearance?
On the other hand, an important ingredient to be attracted to a woman is non-dependence. It is very important that women develop activities that interest them and that they cultivate. By learning and doing new things, being productive, increases self-esteem, confidence and self-confidence, all of this being very attractive to men. At the same time, women who are too dependent on men, tend to follow him everywhere, to be aware of what he does and does not do, becoming a real burden for the man. It is natural for a wife to become resentful and annoying when she makes her partner the center of her world, expecting too much of him, demanding of him, demanding of him. On the other hand, she devalues herself in the eyes of her partner when she desperately tries to get their attention.
Furthermore, it must be remembered that man is not attracted to easy conquests. How is he going to find his wife attractive, if she is 100% of the time available to him and even more so, suffocates him? If you are a woman, you have to keep your mystery and keep watering your garden every day, so that it looks beautiful and interesting in the eyes of men. You will feel satisfied with yourself if you have a life of your own and he will miss you when you are busy with interests other than scolding him.
A rule of thumb: if you depend on someone to be happy, you can never make someone else happy. Your partner is not perfect, so he will never be able to give you absolutely everything you need. Put yourself first, improve as a person, stay comfortable with yourself and you will see how he feels comfortable with you. Take advantage of your gifts and talents and be your most important person. When you focus your attention on your partner, he perceives it and will look for you again, because he feels that he has to conquer you so that you pay attention to him.
It is not good to give so much power to the other because he would know that he could hurt you whenever he wanted and still, you would never leave him. If he perceives that he does not have to conquer you, he will go out to make other conquests outside the house, so do not allow him to have you in such a concept and get him to respect you. Never show that he is the center of your world.
Think that he fell in love with the woman you were before you married: free, independent, active, self-interested, full of dreams. Why leave all that to transform yourself into someone else?
4. For unsatisfied emotions
The biggest cause of infidelity comes from the need not to satisfy each other, not only in bed, but also at a deeper level. Men see their love affair as an escape route from facing this lack of sincerity and mutual support in marriage.
5. Due to insecurity
It is inevitable that the physicist suffers the effects of age and that they are bored with each other. If you feel insecure about certain aspects of your life, it is likely that you feel the desire to cheat on your partner, simply to prove to yourself that you still have something of the person you were in your youth. That is, in these cases, they are unfaithful to boost their self-esteem or be more "manly."
6. By opportunity
The man may not be thinking about being unfaithful but the opportunity presents itself, for example by being on a work trip or suddenly meeting a partner when going out for a drink, it can make the connection emerge and cause a intense encounter between them. It may also be because the third person is offered to the man and he cannot resist.
7. By nature
There are the "donjuanes" of all life. Some men have an innate tendency to seduce and it is inevitable that they will engage in these types of actions. When they are single, they are more likely to have promiscuous sexual encounters and when they are married, they will cheat on their partner. They are men who often have personality traits (or a personality disorder) narcissistic (arrogant and in need of admiration), psychopaths (lack of empathy and guilt) and have a Machiavellian intelligence (tendency to manipulate the other according to their interests) . Unwilling to change, they often only learn the lesson once their marriages are broken (or they may not even learn the lesson that way).
They can abuse your confidence and feel superior. If you've encountered someone like this in your life, your relationship is likely to become toxic. In this case, the best thing you can do is walk away and forget about your partner.
8. By culture
Historically in polygynous societies, men have supported several women at the same time, but the reverse is not the case. From the point of view of sex, men are more likely to have many wives but they seem to dislike having multiple husbands.
Monogamy has not finished being accepted. Man has never intended to be monogamous. Thinking of having married or having accepted an engagement, you have not wanted to have sex only with your partner. Marriage would only be a sacrifice made to maintain a relationship that they consider satisfactory over time. Monogamy for these people is nothing more than a nuisance, something to avoid, more than something to maintain.
Reasons why women cheat
The frequency of female infidelity is increasing today. This behavioral change is mainly related to the availability of effective contraceptives, the change in the social role of women and their integration into the labor market, which has caused women to have more contact with people outside their life as a couple and that your fear of a possible unwanted pregnancy has decreased.
Female infidelity is judged differently from male infidelity. Among women it is said that in order to be unfaithful, there has to be something more than the simple sexual impulse. It is also true that there are always exceptions to the rule, but the reality is that when a woman commits adultery, she chooses the moment and the person very well.
As it was said at the beginning, for women normally infidelity is often on the purely emotional or even platonic plane, so they do not get to have sex, although the simple fact of wanting or loving another person is reason enough to generate a deep sense of guilt.
Female infidelity is more dangerous for the stability of the couple, since on many occasions, there is a love investment in the relationship. Most women do not only seek sexual satisfaction when they decide to be unfaithful, but they want to add passion and romance to their lives, this makes it easier for them to get emotionally involved and put the original relationship at risk. However, this is not always the case, since the changes that society has undergone in recent years have vindicated the role of women and little by little these patterns are changing.
For women, it is essential to be taken into account, so the most frequent cause of infidelity is communication problems with your partner, lack of love, sexual dissatisfaction, attraction to another person and the desire for revenge for a partner. previous infidelity.
The most common reasons are the following:
1. Lack of affection on the part of the partner
In the context of marriage, affairs often create a vicious circle that seems to have no solution: she distances herself physically because he does not contain her emotionally and he moves away emotionally, because she does not give him the sex that she wants.
Affection is the atmosphere that should surround and permeate a relationship or marriage, while sex is a fact, an episodic action. The love of the couple, expressed through affection, gives more meaning and depth to the sexual relationship. Most women need affection long before they think sexually.
In a happy marriage, love is part of the daily routine in the form of kisses, hugs, words of affection, gestures, etc. The importance this has for the woman can be easily proved: almost all men complain that before getting married, the couple's encounters were much more passionate and while he was courting her (in the courtship stage), he filled her with affection, tenderness and respect, but when they got married, he thinks that so many preliminary actions are no longer necessary to get what he wants so much, that is, sex. Preliminary actions are very important for the woman, even more important than the sexual relationship itself, and women need to first feel emotionally close to their partner to want to interact (physically) later. That feeling is achieved by exchanging affection and exclusive attention with the other.
If there are sex problems in the marriage (or in the relationship), attention should be paid to the issue of affection first. Without this ingredient, she may feel forced to have sex to satisfy him, without really enjoying it. Without the actions and gestures of affection, the loving act is incomplete for the woman. There are even women who agree to have sex, just to have a little affection from their partners, although this leaves them dissatisfied, disappointed and empty. As soon as sex is over, the man returns to being that expressionless person who does not show affection and the woman feels that the only thing her partner wants from her is her body and nothing else, which causes her to move away sentimentally and then physically from their husbands.
The female demand for affection is probably the most important need of women, just as they must understand that sex is extremely important to them. If one of the two does not get what she needs (affection or sex, in each case), it is highly likely that they think about risking looking for a third person and breaking their marriage or relationship with this.
In women, arousal is an internal, mental matter: they can decide to get excited or not, according to the feelings and emotions that link them to the man at a given moment. A tender, sensitive, affectionate, respectful man will excite a woman much more than any technique or caress, because he is transmitting the message that he adores her and wants to protect her. Here is the key to why many women are passionate about a lover: often, this guy shows her the consideration and tenderness that her husband does not and that unleashes a strong sexual desire in her that sees him as a god. If the woman is not mentally open and ready for sexual intercourse, it does not matter which points of her body the man touches, because it will not arouse her.
This can force her to seek that affection in another person and in this way, satisfy that very important need. The way to prevent a woman from being unfaithful to her partner is by satisfying that need for affection, being considerate, having details (not material) with her and paying attention, so that they do not look for another person who offers them the affection they so badly need.
2. By reaffirmation of femininity
The woman believes that she is no longer attractive to her partner and infidelity becomes a way to confirm her gender role and to feel desired again.
3. For experiencing romance
In many relationships as the years go by, the romantic details diminish, so that the woman misses those moments and wants to feel that she is special to someone and to re-experience those butterflies in her stomach.
4. To get out of the monotony
Many women who use dating apps are unfaithful not because they are unhappy with the emotional aspect of their relationship or marriage, but because they want to break the sexual monotony. Due to this fact, it is likely that the saying that men seek sex and women romanticism will soon be a myth of the past.
5. For feeling ignored
Generally, if a woman is unfaithful it is because she feels neglected or ignored by her partner. It is the main reason. If he ignores her, does not pay her due attention, or feels that she is no longer an important part of his life, he will most likely find someone else who does.
6. Because they have lost the connection with their partner
If a woman feels that she has lost connection with her partner and that she no longer understands her, she will feel bad and most likely will end up being unfaithful. When she believes that they no longer have anything in common, she will emotionally disengage from the relationship.
7. Because they feel overwhelmed (in general)
Many times an infidelity is a way to escape from the routine, to escape, to make a satisfactory parenthesis in life. Many women cheat because they feel overwhelmed and overwhelmed in general: work, their partner's needs, their own, home, etc.
8. They feel lonely
Women can experience loneliness in a relationship for a number of reasons. Perhaps your partner works long hours, has many trips or too many social commitments, among others. If the man is not emotionally or physically available, she will seek to fill this void.
9. Little (or unsatisfactory) sex
If there is no sexual intimacy, there is infidelity. If she is no longer satisfied in bed with her partner or if she is the one who skips the topic, she will go with another (s).
10. Revenge
It is more common in them than in them. 37% of those surveyed admitted it, compared to 31% of them. Approximately 87% of the people who were unfaithful, justified it by assuring that the other had done it before.
11. Due to low self-esteem
Women with low self-esteem, depression, anxiety or some childhood trauma did not result and / or other similar problems, can seek validation through romantic and sexual activity. If someone wants them "that way," they feel valuable, wanted, needed, and happy.
12. Because they want to get out of their relationship
They are often unfaithful because of the unconscious desire to run away from the relationship they have. Some women need to load up on reasons to leave their partner or even prefer to be "caught" so that the breakup is easier and not have to explain. Others are not fully aware that they want to end their relationship, but are not willing to do so until they have a "replacement."
13. For not having a solid female core
If a woman does not have or has had a solid feminine core in her life, she is likely to overvalue her relationship with men somewhat. If a woman does not have a group of friends, has not enjoyed a good relationship with her mother or has not felt support from the other women around her, it is more than likely that she is unfaithful.
On confidence after an affair
When there is an infidelity, the partner who is cheated sees their trust in the other undermined. However, if the two of you sit down and talk honestly about what has happened and what you feel, it is possible to fix the relationship, as long as you both agree.
The first thing that you should ask yourself with total sincerity as a couple is: are you willing to overcome the bad drink? If your partner was unfaithful, the relationship has probably not been going well for a long time. One or both members of the couple felt that some of their needs were not being met, which set the stage for infidelity. It is quite possible that the deceived person will erupt in anger and want to put the relationship aside and separate.
However, it is necessary to ask: who cheated has been the only culprit? The truth is that infidelities begin, because there are deficits in love and attention to mutual demands within the couple and most likely the person deceived has failed to satisfy any of the essential needs or demands of her partner. It is true that the partner who committed the infidelity failed, but so has the person who made her vulnerable to betrayal, not providing her with the satisfaction of her needs or all the attention she required.
Trust is built every day (it is not built overnight). Most likely, the cheated person needs time to re-trust their partner.
A good resource to achieve this is that whoever cheated, makes a daily schedule of their activities and the other person can review it whenever they want, even by calling the place where they should be. In this way it will be verified that your partner is telling you the truth.
In addition, once the infidelity is confessed or discovered, it is essential that the partner who was unfaithful, immediately leave all contact with the lover. Having a lover is like being addicted to something (for example, you can't quit being a smoker unless you keep the whole pack of cigarettes away from you, instead of smoking a few less).
The temptation to return to the arms of the lover can be very strong, so that the person involved in an infidelity, stops being in love from one day to the next. The man or the woman can put the will to stop seeing their lover, but the feelings remain there, numbed until they find the moment to wake up again.
When the person decides to leave her and you reconciled with her partner, it is because she hopes that she can return to satisfy the needs that she did not have before, that is, meet the demands that she has and that her lover was satisfying.
According to experts, it is easier for a woman who has been unfaithful to renounce her lover once reconciled with her partner, if he meets her demands as he should have done before, than for a man (it seems much more complicated) to let go of his lover , even making peace with your partner.
If the party who has been unfaithful is not willing to stop being with her lover, the affected person should prepare to face a separation.
In several cases, men who manage to leave their lover return to him several years after the affair is over, arguing that they love and miss him, although they also love their wife and cannot live without him. Ideally, if he feels this, the man should try to get professional help and avoid daily contact with the woman in question (for example, in the office). Much better if you move to another city with your family.
Forgiveness: can you overcome an infidelity?
Many couples wonder if it is possible to rebuild the relationship after an infidelity. Statistics say that it seems only 50% of the time the problem is overcome. This probability increases if the man who has been unfaithful and if the infidelity has only been of a sexual nature.
When considering a possible reconciliation after an infidelity, it is necessary to assess the pros and cons of the relationship and bear in mind that not all unfaithful couples separate. In many cases, not only is a reconciliation possible, but the infidelity itself causes the couple to consider their problems, overcome them and continue their relationship with reinforced intimacy. However, it is important not to forget that the reconciliation process is slow and difficult and that it must inevitably go through asking for forgiveness and forgiving in a sincere way, for which, on many occasions, therapeutic intervention is necessary as a guide and support to the couple.
Forgiving a person is not an act of our will, because no one would want to let go of that wound that has been inflicted on him. It is an act that shows the greatest humility, a true sacrifice, which is done out of love.
You do not forgive because your partner deserves it, but because the person who has a hard time when he does not forgive is you. All that resentment, resentment and that hint of bitterness that remains inside you for the memory of what happened, is extremely harmful to your heart. Stop carrying all that emotional garbage that is doing you so much harm and let it go.
Infidelity is the symptom of a much broader, serious and profound problem in the couple's relationship, which has to do with both of you.
The good news is that after going through situations like this, the couple is strengthened. Facing an infidelity problem leads the members of the marriage to work together to overcome it and thus build the building of their relationship much more solidly. Certainly admitting and getting over an affair is difficult, but not impossible.
An infidelity is difficult to forgive, but it is essential to save the marriage. The solution to this serious problem is to make sure it does not happen again and for this you need to know how to improve intimacy with your partner and how to rediscover sex together to refresh the relationship and maintain your Marriage Forever.
Reference:
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Carbajo, V. (2016). La infidelidad en hombres y mujeres; cuáles son las diferencias reales. Consultado el 13 de julio de 2020 de la página https://www.elconfidencial.com/alma-corazon-vida/2016-07-05/infidelidad-hombres-mujeres_1227694/
Linares, R. (2020). Infidelidad femenina: ¿Por qué las mujeres son infieles?. Consultado el 13 de julio de 2020 de la pagina https://www.elpradopsicologos.es/blog/infidelidad-femenina/
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Palmero, M. (2019). Por qué las mujeres son infieles: las nueve razones que les llevan a poner los cuernos. Consultado el 13 de julio de 2020 de la página https://www.vozpopuli.com/actualidad/mujeres-infieles-razones-cuernos-infidelidad_0_1209780101.html
Pérez, L. (Sin fecha). La infidelidad: el segundo problema más importante en las relaciones de pareja. Consultado el 13 de julio de 2020 de la página https://psicologiaymente.com/pareja/infidelidad-problema-relaciones-pareja
Serena, N. (2018): 10 razones por las que una mujer es infiel. Consultado el 13 de julio de la página https://www.cadenadial.com/2018/10-razones-por-las-que-una-mujer-es-infiel-55043.html
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